When making a writer, add ten parts procrastination

I am not sure of the exact recipe to make an author. I am guessing it’s probably 3 parts creativity, 2 parts introvert, 1 part wardrobe consisting mostly of black, and ten parts procrastination. Let simmer over medium heat for a lifetime. If you have been following me for a while, then you probably have been on my Facebook, and seen I am a compulsive collector of writing quotes. Although I have hundreds of fantastic thoughts from people like Tom Stoppard, Mark Twain, and Steven King, the quote that is taped to my computer is actually an anonymous quote. It reads, “Being a good writer is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet.” Every time I think, “I should check my email or my twitter, or my Facebook to finally see what my long-lost friend from high school is doing” I stop myself and read that quote. Then I flip it the bird and check Pintrest one more time before going back to my writing.

I don’t tell you this to inform you of how crazy I am, I tell you this because as I said above, all writers are above all else procrastinators. Joseph Epstein, who wrote a New York Times article, said 81% of people want to write a book some day. As we know most of them never even sit down to type out the first line. Why? Procrastination. It’s what separates “writers” from what I like to call “journalers.”  You know those people who pay forty dollars for a fancy journal and write in it once a month with a glass of lemonade on a hammock. There is nothing wrong with “journalers”, except that so many “journalers” want to be writers and don’t know why they can’t make the transition. Procrastination.

I am a huge fan of Amanda Hocking. Say what you will about her writing but she sat down every day after working a full-time job and wrote until she fell asleep. And unless you’re Jodi Picoult, her writing has made her about 2 million dollars more than you or I. She had a dream and she made it happen. Her self-published books have done so well, she was picked up by St. Martin’s Press and her books are being cleaned up and re-released in paperback. Her Trylle trilogy has been optioned for movies with the screenwriter of District 9 attached.

When people read her NPR interview, they mostly want her to answer obvious questions like “Where did she find her agent?” and “How did her book get noticed and optioned for a movie?” They’re all missing the big picture. Her success started way before any of that happened. She may not go into all the ins and outs of the industry, but she does give you the secret to her success at the very end of the article, though I am sure most people miss it while they hunt for some sort of fairy godmother with a magic wand who made all her dreams come true. The part people miss is where she says she has some advice to share, advice she got from a video by Blink 182 star Mark Hoppus (remember him? me neither). “It’s not enough to have a passion- you have to have a work ethic,” Hocking said. “That’s been the most life-changing advice that I got, because I had a passion for writing-and I know a lot of other people do, too-but it’s not enough to just want something. You have to be able to work for it, too, and put in the hours and time.”

I know what you’re thinking: “Well, that’s no fun. Where is the psychic dream she had that she would be famous? Or the dead relative that came to her in her living room and gave her a mystery to solve and then write about?” Sorry, it’s a lot simpler than that. You just have to sit do and write. Damn. Try not to get down on yourself too much … I am avoiding editing my novel in order to write an article about not procrastinating. How ridiculous is that?

Hopefully by now you have taken a long hard look in the mirror and said, “a work ethic, yeah I have that. Now I just need a plan.” Maybe I can be of some assistance here. Famous author Stephen King goes over his writing plan in his book On Writing. He says that he reads for four hours a day and writes for four hours a day. Yikes, that sounds like a lot! But that also might be why he, according to his website, has written 50 novels and you haven’t. “But I have a full time job,” you say. That is not a reason to procrastinate; that is a reason to find a work schedule you can keep yourself to. Maybe you skip the gym and get up an hour early to write. Maybe you write for two hours before bed. I know a few people who dedicate all of Sunday to writing. Whatever your schedule is, it needs to work for you. I don’t care if you write for fifteen minutes a day while standing on your head in a tutu. Just write! The only way to get over all your procrastination is to have a schedule where you force yourself to sit down and do it. I like to give myself a word count I have to finish before I am done for the day, inside of setting an amount of time I need to spend in front of the computer. If I give myself an amount of time, I might just sit there for an hour contemplating what I am going to eat for lunch.

Speaking of procrastination, I better leave you now and get back to my novel. I hope this article inspired you to kick yourself in the butt a little. I really need you to get serious about your writing. That way I can read your novel one day, not just hear about the novel you would have written if you had made the time.

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